Businessman Musa Mseleku and his family of Mamkhulu (first wife), MaYeni (second wife), MaKhumalo (third wife), MaNgwabe (fourth wife) and their 10 children

Where are your choices coming from?

It was while watching the latest episode of Uthando neSthembu that got us thinking about the mindset from which we make choices. Like us, you may be one of the #BossLadies glued to the screen every Thursday. Keen to find out how this gripping reality series based on love in a polygamous marriage plays out…

In the beginning, you may have found yourself filled with curiosity and a ‘secret’ desire to be able to live the life of luxury that this lifestyle seemed to offer. Now a few episodes down the line, the glam is looking a bit jaded. And you may even find yourself feeling  pity for one or two of these lovely ladies.

What is that all about? One minute we might want to be one of them and it almost seems to be a viable option. And the next minute we pretend that those thoughts never crossed our minds as we see the less pleasant side of this living arrangement? What is going on for us?

Based on our religion, our upbringing and our current circumstances we may find that we are swayed between strong condemnation, acceptance, and even desire for this lifestyle.

It’s all about choices, and more importantly, it’s about the place that we are making these choices from.

Where are your choices coming from?

So here’s the question for you. If you were wealthy in your own right, and felt fulfilled and loved, would you choose to be one of many wives? Conversely, if life was hard, if you felt unloved and unsupported, and you really wanted to be loved, would you maybe choose to be one of many wives?

We are not making a judgement call on polygamy. But rather, a reminder to check and see where the choice is coming from. The choices we make when we are in a place of lack, can be very different to the choices we make when we are in a place of power.

Which choices in your own life have proved to be the most fulfilling and the most successful for you? Generally, it’s the choices that we make when we are already satisfied with life. The job change that came about even though you weren’t looking. The relationship that fell into your lap. The friendships that just happened when you were already laughing and having fun. The promotion and salary increase that you earned, while you were already managing your budget perfectly 🙂

Conversely, when we make choices from a place of lack we tend to draw the dark side of the choice along for the ride. The feelings of desperation that influenced our decision tends to stay with us. And it plays out again and again in the experience.

So, where’s the magic wand?

What is the secret to a wonderful life, with choices that support our greatest joy and success?

The answer is in always building yourself up. When you focus on growing yourself, more and more, your choices are made from a place of power. And, when you come from a place of personal power, you will be able to make choices that support your greatest good. A very, very liberating place to be.

Watch this space. The #BossLadies are all about personal growth. And we’re creating a magnificent offering that will set you on the journey of becoming Better than Best. Sign up to the BossLady newsletter to stay updated!


Leave a Reply