Telana Simpson of Inner Coaching is passionate about helping people find their ‘flavour’, confidence and direction to make choices that align best with them, in order to make our lives and world better than how we found it. Here are her top tips for just how!
As promised, we are showcasing the awesome courses, and their creators, that are part of the #BossLady Boost to Best. Each of these 11 hand-picked courses and mindset tools are designed to take each woman to her next level of best. Remember that you can get the full Boost to Best, including ‘How to Find Direction & Purpose in Your Life’ for just R395. Don’t let yourself stay stuck for another minute! www.boostmenow.bossladies.co.za P.S. LIMITED TIME OFFER: Flying Solo? Save 30% on your Boost to Best. Are you and a friend planning to support each other in your year of Boosts? Choose the Study Buddy option, and get TWO Boosts for just R395! Sign up today!
BL: How did you get into Inner Coaching or discover your passion for it?
TS: I have always found myself doing fresh and new things in cutting edge industries and startup businesses (In fact, every year I make it my goal to learn something new). This includes studying towards a Science degree in Psychology, helping to start and grow both bidorbuy and a bicycle shop, and then going on to pioneer the coaching industry in South Africa alongside my own businesses.
I found coaching indirectly; I was looking for a job as a Trainer after returning to South Africa from living in Australia for a year where I had worked for bidorbuy. The job I found was actually as a Coach for Nando’s. This job introduced me to the field of coaching, and I loved it. It was like a whole lot of pieces of the puzzle of all my studies and work experience falling into place. It was then that I realised how much I loved coaching and opened my own practice, Inner Coaching. It’s now been over a decade of helping people be brave, real and true, and I haven’t looked back since.
BL: What do you mean by ‘life purpose’ and why is it so important to discover it?
TS: Life purpose is about living intentionally, and choosing where to add your energy, time and talents so that it brings you meaning.
We are beings who are whole and full and have so much value to contribute to the world. And from this position and understanding, our responsibility is to add our value to the world through our choice of the roles we play, in our relationships and in our careers.
So, finding a sense of our purpose is about getting clear on what we can offer the world, and when we start expressing that, we experience that wonderful feeling of meaning and purpose and direction in our lives.
Life purpose is more of what I call the ‘flavour’ of your life. Your flavour might be salty, and there are so many recipes that are so delicious with the saltiness they offer. My course is an in-depth exercise that helps you to uncover your flavour.
BL: How can we get a sense of direction in life?
TS: It helps to look for themes from your past. List all the jobs, best holidays, past-times and hobbies you have experienced, and then look for the common themes or the thread that runs through all of them. In the present day, you can look at what brings tears to your eyes… What do you talk a lot about? Do you know what moves or stirs you deep down? What repels you or makes you angry? Look at both sides of these answers, as the theme that emerges will give you a sense of the area you come alive in.
The area that keeps coming up is part of your life purpose. From then on, you can make choices that take you closer to that area or even brainstorm how you can work or volunteer in that area to bring about a life of meaning that you love.
BL: What is the most useful mindset/ attitude to use when creating a life that we will love?
TS: I believe that the most useful attitude to cultivate is one of exploration. Be open to possibilities, and experimenting because then you will find what fits for you. This mindset of exploring also helps us to not become stuck on one single thing or expression of ourselves. We are so vast and I don’t think we fully can grasp how expansive we are as human beings. I am so much more than just being a coach, even though this aspect of me is a big part of my life. You are so much more than just the job you have right now.
So being open and having that learning and exploring mindset, helps us to see more opportunities and choice rather than less, and also allows us to adjust when we need to – like when we outgrow a position or stance or would like to try something else to learn more about ourselves and what we are capable of.
Another great one is known as the Growth Mindset. This is where we embrace failure as learning moments, and we don’t take things personally but rather continually want to develop and improve and see others as examples of what’s possible. Life becomes a great big playing field for us to have experiences and to play big!
BL: How will your course help BossLadies to find direction in their own lives?
TS: I find that the common complaint is; “I have no idea what my purpose is”. This is often because we think that purpose is a career and has a label, like Doctor, Lawyer, Mother. And we believe that we must find the one thing and when we do, the angels will sing and we’ll see fireworks and it will all be fine.
In my work, I often come across people who realise their current job is not for them, so they change jobs but soon find that they are in the same position, and still feeling a lack of meaning in their lives. The only difference is they are in a different job now, with a different label. Or, many feel that what will bring them that sense of purpose, is something that they can’t earn a living from, and so they feel stuck.
My course helps people get in touch with the area in the world that will bring them lots of meaning and that sense of purpose. Often it leads them to explore how they are already living that purpose (because they usually are in some way but just haven’t recognised it as yet)
The other point is that once you find your purpose area, everything doesn’t just click into place and life doesn’t just become a breeze.
So, my hope is that this course helps people get in touch with their theme, and then bring that down into making decisions, planning and strategizing, and right down into daily action points so that they live intentionally and on purpose.
BL: Have you had to rise from a personal setback? How did you do this?
TS: My greatest learning period was when I experienced an auto-immune dis-ease, and wasn’t well for a few years. I am thankfully healed and healthy now. That period led me to strengthen beliefs I had about the link between our mind and body, and apply what I knew about self-healing. I am grateful for the team of health coaches and practitioners who helped me and for learning that ultimately, I was responsible for my own health and choices.
CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS & YOU CHANGE YOUR LIFE
- I moved from having more rigid thinking styles to being more flexible. To this day, this brings more ease within my body and mind. A very challenging period in that part of my healing strategy was re-thinking how I recognised myself, how I esteemed myself, my relationship to my emotions, and how to set healthy boundaries with people and deal with conflict constructively. These are skills that I now help others to master, as they help to develop a lifestyle of well-being and healthier and happier relationships.
- This period also helped me become braver in how I offer my gifts to the world and gave me clarity on where I can add the most value to others, to help humanity move forward.
- My course is a hope that others can find more direction, and get in touch with their authentic expression of themselves in this world so that they don’t wait to get a knock from life (like my health challenge was for me) before bringing more of themselves to the world. We need more brave, real and true people. Those people with a strong understanding of themselves and their contribution in the world, will be more intentional in stepping forward with strength to make this world better. They will also enjoy their lives more.
BL: Wow, please tell us about any woman who has used your Inner Coaching course to really boost her life?
TS: One of my clients was miserable in her job even though she excelled in it. She had a sense she wanted to change direction but was hesitant because the change in direction she was thinking of taking seemed too different from her current job. We did the exercise covered in the course and helped her come up with her Life Purpose Statement and develop clarity on her strengths. From there, we brainstormed a number of alternate career paths for her to explore. And even though all these options were very different from her current role, it gave her the confidence to plan for and then quit her job and give herself the gift of a few months to explore these other paths, to find her next step.
She is still enjoying this process and has some plans to study further and get work in her new chosen field. My client and I see this as a boost in her life, as now all her energy and time is going into learning and building a career in an area she loves.
It’s not to say that doing this exercise will lead everyone to change jobs! It’s more of an example of how exploring our themes in life and identifying what brings us more meaning, can help us make a change if needed, or reinforce that our current choice is right.
BL: And the most exciting project you’re currently involved in?
TS: I’ve been working on a side project for quite a few years now, which I call onematchstick. I started with a single matchstick and traded it for a pen, and then swopped that pen for a toy, and the toy for some books. I now have, as a package offer to trade on, 3 boxes of awesome technology and gear that will kickstart a virtual office for someone (maybe even to one of the BossLadies reading this!).
My aim is to keep bartering up until I get some office space. I want to use that office space to help startup entrepreneurs get their businesses off the ground. I’ll share those offices with them and run my ‘Bravery School’ there which will be launching in the near future.
It’s been a wonderful journey of learning about the value of money, trades and about negotiation. It’s also about thinking out of the box and persevering when it seems just impossible. This story has shown me that anything is possible, and everything is negotiable. Although it is a side project which doesn’t get my full attention, it is still a very exciting one. When I can focus on it, wonderful things keep happening!
BL: What legacy/ contribution would you say you’re leaving for other women?
My hope is that my integrity and authenticity can be an example to other women to allow them to stand in their integrity and be authentic too.
As Marianne Williamson so beautifully explains;
“Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine… and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
I invite all the BossLadies to get their Boost to Best, and join me in shining your own light. This is with the hope that my course help you to get in touch with the unique hue of your light, and encourages you to be brave, to be real and to be true in this beautiful world of ours. This world now more than ever needs the hue of your light to help it shine!
P.S. LIMITED TIME OFFER: Flying Solo? Save 30% on your Boost to Best. Are you and a friend planning to support each other in your year of Boosts? Choose the Study Buddy option, and get TWO Boosts for just R395! Sign up today!